YOUR PRANKS ARE WANK

The amazing grumpy miracle that is Pudgy <3

So, next to Tumblr, TikTok is my current source of lol solace and cutes. Which would be fine but for every other post being a: 

“GUYS, THIS IS WHAT GIRLS REALLY THINK!”

or

“WHY IS IT THAT WOMEN ALWAYS DO THIS??”

or some horrifically unfunny prank some straight couple is doing on each other. 

And so, at this juncture, I must ask – 

CISHET STRAIGHTS – PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF FUCK, STOP STRAIGHTING!

Your gender archetypes are embarrassing and outdated, your ‘pranks’ are semi-abusive and ARGHHH no-one wants to hear your 1953 hot take on the “biological basis” of women playing Candy Crush. 

I just need tiktok to show me cute kittens, puppies and Pudgy. I don’t mind the dances, some of them are good but the gendered nonsense? 

Nein, danke. 

Studio Dreams

I just fell asleep and had the weirdest micro-dream…

I was watching the Presonus Dude do some mixing thing on YouTube when I fell asleep and my brain kept listening and built a whole dream around it.

DREAM: I’m in a version of my studio but it’s huge. This dude who looks vaguely Jake Busey in a threatening manner is stalking around my studio, moving keyboards around roughly and pulling out cables that are audio live. This causes realistic clicks and bangs and very unrealistic actual small explosions and arcing cascades of sparks.

All the time, he’s giving a running commentary on how to record / mix vocals and keeps singing at me, “Look how farrrrr we’veeee commmmeeee!” and then tweaks another bit of my gear and sings it again. It’s like he’s tuning the studio for his own personal use!

I’m following him around, trying to grab things off him and then I stop him and start shouting that I DON’T NEED VOCAL PRODUCTION LESSONS and I know how to setup a mic, whereupon he just starts running round faster and HE’S CHANGING THE EQ CURVE ON MY BLOODY GENELECS by flicking the DIP switches.

I grab his hands and I’m shouting in his face, all the time he’s looking at me, singing, “LOOK HOW FAR WE’VE COME!!!” and then I wake up.

I was sooo angry he was messing up my studio and simultaneously insulting my vocal production skills.

Still angry now. Wanna stab a motherfucker.

Old (F)Art

(Commenting on this post)

This is the joy of being old and, in particular, of being an old artist.

During this lockdown, I’ve started streaming music production sessions (twitch.tv/bzangy) and have had some wonderful interactions with musicians 25, 30 years younger than me.

They’re at the very start of finding their own voices (sometimes literally) and I’ve been doing this a long time now. I know who I am artistically and how I want to say things even if I’m always searching for new ways to connect and improve my art.

All it takes is some support, a few kind words to really help a young artist. They may not have a supportive peer group, they may not have a supportive family.

That’s why I think it’s important that artists always try to pass their experience on to those coming up. For me, I want to open musicians / producers up to different ways of thinking about sound design, about composition.

EVERYTHING is out there, it’s a wonderful universe of creative possibilities

Ten Colours Red

Just took this quiz and here’s my results.

For the optically minded out there, this is how bad my eyes are: 

Right 
Sph: -8.00 Cyl: -2.75 Axis: 178

Left
Sph: -8.25 Cyl: -3.50 Axis: 179

Near
Right: +1.50
Left: +1.50

Aided VA
Right
Dist: 6/5 Near: N4

Left
Dist: 6/5 Near: N4

BVD: 12.0

Sooo, it’s good that at least I can see colours well. That might help me, post-apocalypse when I’ve fucked my glasses Burgess Meredith-style as long as the edge of the cliff is a *slightly* different red to the waiting chasm. 

I’m In Horny Jail

I was trying to post a nude pic to one of my sideblogs on here and WHOOPS, posted it to my Facebook instead. (I’ve been tired, leave me alone.)

So, facebook has put me in horny jail and I am not allowed to post anything for another nine hours yet. I feel soo… nonplussed? I don’t feel chastised as much as I’ve got a severe frowning from an elderly nun. 

I’d post the hugely offensive image on my primary blog but we all know what being horny on main gets you. I’ve only just got out of Tumblr titty prison and I don’t want to go back to my cone of shame avatar again. 

(But if you do need to see the pic for.. er.. reasons, it’s here -> https://bzangytwo.tumblr.com/post/630726777528008704 )

Enjoy! But please do remember that naked women are the source of all evil and corruption in the world so you may want to domestos your eyes after, better safe than sorry, eh?