Baby Rampling

I was out at Rock City this Saturday and a cool thing happened. 

There was a small group of girls out and one of them was taller and so stood out. She had a gorgeous face, flowing hair and looked a little like a young Charlotte Rampling. 

As she walked closer on her way to the bar, I realised that she was a he. And then, no, a she. And then, in truth, I realised that they were a they. It’s very rare I see actual, presenting as non-binary people out clubbing so I was surprised and pleased. 

Pleased because I go to clubs that would have been called “alternative” in the ‘80s. The nights I go to are mostly pop punk and rock with, very occasionally, a dance night thrown in if I don’t get overwhelmed by the stench of poppers on the way in.

You would think that alt nights have alt people at them. And you would e very, very slightly right; most of the people in the Basement at City would call themselves different based on their music taste or perhaps clothes / style. Y’know – grebs.

Sadly, I know from experience that just because you sing along to RATM or The King Blues, it doesn’t actually mean you’re a revolutionary. Indeed, bands like ADTR often have gangs of lads as fans who, in the US, would be called jocks. These lads are un-reconstructed racists, sexists and homophobes. They are also so pigshit thick that they don’t even realise they are any of these things. You know the kind of bloke I mean ~ Edgelords who think propagating racist memes is somehow challenging some status quo somewhere. 

So, it was with a little worry that I watched this very drunk NB kid weave their way across the dance floor, being quite touchy and flirty as they passed people. They were very def on a mission. The reaction they got was, sadly, pretty much what I expected: blokes would do a double take and then, masculinity threatened, have to take the piss and establish that THEY WERE NOT AT ALL GAY as much as possible to any women watching. The lasses weren’t quite as bad but there was still a fair amount of piss-taking. Thankfully, there was no actual physical confrontation. 

Well, after doing a couple more trawls round the dance floor in this manner, the baby Rampling did a face of disdain and headed off to another floor. Clearly, the people on this floor didn’t appreciate their brilliance enough. And, to be fair, they didn’t. It was pearls before swine.  

I really, really wish I’d got a picture of them so you could see I’m not exaggerating. Maybe next time! 

I’m Lolling At Henry Rollins…

STITCHERS – “Full Stop” – A shooting leaves Detective Fisher in ICU, and Kirsten on the hunt for the cause in the summer finale of “Stitchers,” airing Tuesday, August 4, 2015 at 9:00PM ET/PT on ABC Family. (ABC Family/Eric McCandless) HENRY ROLLINS, EMMA ISHTA

… in this episode of Stitchers.

Like… they even had a flashback to him when he was younger. I wish it just been him in Black Flag, running round like a little fucker. 

What a missed opportunity.

Dating Profile Generator

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Fed-up with trying to find new ways in which to whore yourself to strangers?

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Look what it came up with for me:

Smelly maniac seeks ruthless woman with a plump vulva for arson, car theft and maybe more

I am the maniac you’re looking for.

Hello ladies! I’m learning about important dates in history. Wanna be one of them?

I’m a murderous kind of chap, who likes nothing more than arson with the right woman.

The first thing people usually notice about me is my surly personality, closly followed by my smashing testicles. I’m the man for you, if you like great testicles and orifices, particularly combined with ample baby oil.

I work as a maniac, helping rats. This allows me to exercise my skills: necromancy and haberdashery.

    My life goals include:

  • Star in the next Star Wars film.
  • Fall in love with you
  • Become the best maniac I can be
  • Help all the rats in the world

If you’re the right woman for me, you’ll be ruthless and vengeful. You won’t be afraid to rimming and will have a healthy respect for Communism.

My ideal date would involve car theft in hell with a ripe woman by my side. While we’re there, I admire your plump vulva whilst feeling I’m the luckiest man on the planet.

Let me tell you about a funny thing that happened to me last week. I was just helping an elderly across the road when I was hit by a car. I needed three stitches. BOOM!

May the force be with you.

Light me fire, babe

Jyoti Mishra

I mean… it’s fucking perfect!

 

Aabyryk Complains

furiousqueerious :

phoebebishopwright :

A deer wanders quietly in a church in France.

old gods

 

“What is this place?” said Aabyryk.

“A church,” I answered.

“A temple? To what gods? To the Mother? To the Cousin Wind? To Sister Rain?  There used to be so many of us, we ran through the skies, butting antlers with the stars themselves. We were full of glory, the power broke through us like rays of silver in a morning frost. One night, I argued with Earth over who was the strongest and kicked a great clod off him. That’s how the Moon was born. She was never an old god like us. We laughed at her, we howled.”

She sighed.

“We rarely manifest now. We sleep and we dream.”

I nodded at her, hoping to look understanding, sympathetic.

She snorted and stared at me, “I do not need your pity, fool. We will rise again. When this shiny world of trinkets you have made collapses, when you are back to the ashes and ruin you love so much…. you will worship us again. We will taste your children’s blood as sacrifice again.”

“What’s the worst thing I can say? Things are better if I stay… So long and goodnight…”

Dancing round with my mates last night at Rock City and this classic came on at just the right time. We had a SERIOUSLY EMOTIONAL dance. I think I actually saw a woman across the dance floor get a bit weepy.

And then, weirdly, I remembered playing MCR when I was DJing years ago. I had to look it up:

https://bzangygroink.co.uk/archives/2004/09/14/bless-playlist-1392004/

I remembered because the girl who asked me for them was really pretty and had braces (teeth, not trousers).

Isn’t sexuality weird? I only remember that night because I fancied her and fourteen years later, that emotion pops up again (hurr hurr). I wonder where she is now… Is she still emo? Does she still love MCR? How are her teeth? She’s probably like a Mum now and a proper grown up. Unlike me.

Me, I’m looking forward to dancing to MCR and State Champs every weekend though I’m actually feeling like I’m Sixteen Again…