He’s either the size of a small house or she’s the size of a large cat.
WTH, his head is the size of HER ENTIRE TORSO.
They wouldn’t need trick shots / CGI if they played Gandalf and Bilbo, fuck me.
WHAT IS GOING ON?
So, I’ve not been sleeping much because I’ve had a weird bastard cold. I’m getting around 3 hours a night.
This morning I woke with bad jaw gland pain at around 6am and went to take 2 paracetamols and 2 ibuprofens. I use different shapes to help me differentiate which is which. But this time, due to the confusion of no sleep, I went wrong and took 4 ibuprofens.
Still half asleep, I got into a big panic, googled ibuprofen overdose on my phone and got something saying 800mg (which I’d just taken) would damage my kidneys and I needed to go to hospital.
So, I spent 10 mins panicking, trying to make myself sick and couldn’t. Tried both ends of the toothbrush which was not fun at all. Nothing.
Finally, I calmed down a bit and phoned my sis (who is a doctor) and luckily she was up.
Her words, “No, no, you’ll be fine. If they were that bad, they wouldn’t give them out like Smarties. Just drink loads of water and take rest”
Cue very embarrassed me.
I really, really need some solid sleep.
At least I didn’t got to WebMD and find out I’ve got cancer.
My proposition today: the idea of a Cornetto is far better than the reality.
Or should I say, the ideal of a Cornetto is something that cannot be matched by the faint, 4D shadows that our universe’s Cornettos exist within.
It’s hot. You imagine a Cornetto. You imagine unpeeling it, hoping the little chocolatey end bit won’t break off. You imagine biting into the creamy top, the crunchy little bits of chocolate and peanuts, the crisp, delightfully frangible wafer.
You buy a real Cornetto. It’s a bit squished on top. No worries. You unwrap it and half the chocolatey bits are stuck to the foil at the top. You try to lick them off. They fall on your clothing and melt immediately into what looks like a catshit stain. The peanut bits – they’re gone. Were they every really there?
The cone itself is… squishy. Like a piece of cardboard that you forgot to put in your bin and now it’s been out there a fortnight and you know you have to pick it up but you know when you do it’s gonna be major ick as it’s all squishy now. It has the floppiness of a newly dead corpse, before rigor sets in.
You attack the head of the cone. As the result melts in your mouth, you realise it’s not the premier gelato you imagined but some frozen white foam that tastes of late stage capitalism and diabetes. It evaporates from your tongue leaving no trace, like the promises of teenage romance.
Well, you’ve started it now, you have to eat it quickly or it’ll just melt all down you, then you’ll look like you’ve jizzed on catshit. You wolf it down, chasing entropy like a greyhound chasing a tachyon. Inevitably, your fingers end up covered with sugary slime and you lick them clean but not in a savouring way, in a sad way. Reflecting on all the bad choices you’ve ever made in your life, you slurp at your fingertips.
You swear to never buy another Cornetto.
You buy a packet of six soft Cornettos. No, but these ones, these ones are soft? Do you see?
I don’t know if the below link will embed or not, let’s give it a go:
Ahh, dang it.
Anyway, have a click to see me with HAIR and a very high voice.
(By the way, the text below is not accurate, don’t believe any of it.)
Have a look at this interview from March 1997:
(Source: New York Times)
If you look up Silent Disco on Wikipedia, you get this:
In May 2002 artist Meg Duguid hosted Dance with me… a silent dance party at the Museum of Contemporary Art Chicago where she created an outdoor club installation complete with velvet ropes and glow rope in which a DJ spun a transmission to wireless headsets that audience members put on and danced to. Duguid threw a second dance party at the Museum of Contemporary Art, Chicago the following year, entitled Dueling DJs where two DJS simultaneously spun two separate musical transmissions various wireless headsets that audience members put on and danced to. This performance was repeated the following year (2004) at the Chicago Cultural Center.
The term “silent disco” has been in existence since at least 2005 with Bonnaroo Music Festival advertising such an event that year with DJ’s Motion Potion, Quickie Mart and DJ medi4 and headphones provided by KOSS. In recent years Silent Events has presented Bonaroo’s Silent Disco.
In the Netherlands, the traveling arts and culture festival De Parade already featured a “stille disco” [silent disco] earlier, for example in 2003. Dutch DJs Nico Okkerse and Michael Minton have been described as “the pioneers … in the legend of silent disco” because they started “stille disco” events in 2002. Okkerse claims his company 433fm.com “created Silent Disco in 2002” and its site does have photos from such events going back to at least 2003.(Source: Wikipedia)
So, yaay, that was five years after when I invented it, depending which one you believe.
A silent concert (or headphones concert) is a live music performance where the audience, in the same venue as the performing artist, listens to the music through headphones. The idea originated in 1997 when Erik Minkkinen, an electronic artist from Paris, streamed a live concert from his closet over the internet to three listeners in Japan. The concept led to a decentralized organization known as le placard (“the Cupboard”), which allowed anybody to establish a streaming or listening room.
The first headphone concert taking place in front of a live audience took place March 17, 1999, at Trees in Dallas, Texas. The American psychedelic band The Flaming Lips used an FM signal generator at the venue and handed out mini FM radio receivers and headphones to each member of the audience. A normal speaker system was also used so the sound could also be felt. This continued on their “International Music Against Brain Degeneration Revue” tour with mixed results, with technical problems including dead batteries and intoxicated audience members having trouble tuning to the correct frequency.(Source: Wikipedia)
So, depending on when in ’97 Minkkinen did his proto-Twitch stream, maybe I’m a co-inventor. But Flaming Lips, March???
I was chatting with my niece about the London Science Museum and I said that my fave exhibit is the Cray X-MP.
She’s just got a brand-new iPhone 12 so I thought it might be fun to compare their stats. This is the result:
I’m quite surprised Apple don’t charge that much.. 😛
I can’t believe it’s five years today since my Daddy died. The time seems both too long and too short. I feel like too much time has passed and his presence is fading from this world, which feels horribly unfair.
I also feel it’s too little time and I still feel raw in my loss. It’s all too soon, too recent and I will get over it better and deal with my grief but what do you expect after a couple of months? Five years?
I miss him every day. I think about him every day. I have so much I want to tell him and show him, so many interesting geeky facts and ridiculous gadgets and silly stories and terrible jokes. There’s no-one else in my life I can share all that with, now.
If I could, I’d make a documentary about his extraordinary life. When I think of all he’d done by the time he was forty, it makes me wish I had his drive and ability. I certainly have some of his anger at injustice and I’m very glad of that. His values were deeply, passionately socialist, unlike most of his peers who were your classic Tory doctors. How anyone can work in the NHS and yet also support the party most seeking to destroy it was a puzzle for us both.
I don’t know what to do tonight. I feel unsettled. I used to love watching films with him, whether at home or in the cinema. I remember watching loads of Spaghetti Westerns with him when I was a little kid, he definitely helped foster that lifetime love.
I want to hug him and squeeze him till he grumbles for me to let go. And then not let go.
Go and do yours at: https://bdsmtest.org/
God, how could I see Nadia Com?neci as a MATURE WOMAN hahah… then again, I was nine or ten.
Just TRY to spend it all. Go here!
Give it a go. Be stupid, be reckless. Have 20 mansions and 200 helicopters.
And then realise just how much money that is and how it’s mostly the unpaid wages of Amazon workers.
SMAUG WASN’T MEANT TO BE A FUCKING ROLE MODEL.