Category: Poetry

I just fell asleep for a little bit watching a film. I dreamt I was sitting on the edge of my parents’ bed, in their house. My father was behind me, patting my back and asking me if I was okay. I burst into huge sobs and he comforted me, calling me Babu. He was…

When we have our revolution, it’s gonna be very British, as much as Russia’s was Russian. We’re gonna pack sandwiches, some crisps and maybe a thermos of oversweet, milky tea. Tiny, fiddly cup on the top. People will have sensible shoes on and some will carry one of those weird little packets of tissues? Those…

Today, after a calm time visiting my folks, I spiralled into a sarlacc pit of worrying about money, worrying about work, worrying about my label, worrying that I’m not doing enough, worrying that I’m doing too much, worrying about my weight, worrying about the fasting I’ve been doing, worrying about worrying, worrying that I’m not…

Last night I had a horrible nightmare where I was trying to fight this monster made out of sliding slabs of stone. It kept blocking my path out of rooms, the noise of it sliding over itself was horrific, like nails on blackboard. I got so scared I woke up and hugged my wife to…

I was alright in Mosh Not happy because it was pretty shite Swamped by Scream blokes doing comedy moshing But alright. I was alright driving driving home Didn’t miss you one fucking bit Didn’t even think about you That’s how over you I am And how much I don’t care about you. And then I…

I’m home and I’m listening to the new Belle And Sebastian album And it’s good and it reminds me of you. And I was okay cos I was in town with Emma and distracted Probably talking shit about something or someone. And I was okay because I’ve learned how to not see you There, at…

Torrential rain and the dejected dopplering of an ice cream van in the distance…

You put on those clothes Like they belong to you Oblivious to how ridiculous Your cultural calisthenics Render you. Last album you were folk, This album you’re country, Next one, maybe synthpop? Or are the ‘80s uncool again? Hey, maybe you’ll do “raw rock’n’roll” You know, go back to the roots That you never fucking…

I’m sitting in the university canteen Waiting for Tom, who’s missed his bus And I’m thinking about the last time you said you loved me. We were driving and it was sunny I’d been singing along to something Probably braking on the harmonies. There was a pause, a breath held Just the rumble of the…

Your name has power (Bourdieu and Passeron, 1977 [1970]) When I see it pop up on my newsfeed When it isn’t even you My heart collapses (Schwarzschild, 1916) Grabs hard in my flesh A wave of cold / heat / cold Damns me, guilty Everything shivers When you text me, everything stops Stops stopped and…

Four years ago today My life ended And this one began Soon, I won’t remember that life Because I can’t It’s too beautiful You’re too beautiful Tonight, I’ll be wearing a mask Over my mask So people won’t ask me if I’m okay If I look sideways I don’t see it I can pretend it’s…

Towards the end, I must have known somehow. For the last birthday you shared with me, I got us bikes. You’d wanted to ride for ages but first you’d been too ill And then I’d been too over-protective. I wanted to do something for you and for us. Something together and two and joined. It…

Tonight, I went for my normal emo walk but I kept walking. Maybe it was the Jon Hopkins I was listening to. Or maybe not. But I didn’t stop. I’m walking now, somewhere. As I plodded by the Closes and Drives of my neighbourhood, I couldn’t stop thinking about her. She’s left me concave, scooped…

I miss you. It’s simple and horrible. A ghost, keening outside my door, Disturbing everything I do. It won’t shut up. I miss you. My house is full of you because It’s your house now. I keep wondering when you’ll come home And I can make you a cuppa And we can have a dull,…

Below is a note found after the world ended on February the 1st, 2012, apparently left by the last two people alive. Apart from everything, nothing has been changed. You’re sitting cross-legged opposite me on the bed. There’s an impish expression on your face. You’re wearing only a thin white blouse, slightly transparent with a…

In the instant I was unaware I actually became aware I don’t know if it was emotion Or the flu virus in my body Fucking with my brain But I saw her letter Everything looked strange to me I’d try to look at something And the outlines would shimmer and jump Like a badly tuned…

When you pull out of me At first, it’s fine, I’m okay. Were you even in there? Really, what’s all the fuss about? Then, usually 24-48 hours later, Withdrawal kicks in. I notice the hole, I feel where you used to be, Filling me up. I wonder at how deep you got Without me even…

I don’t believe in magic But I do Not the dull, lumpy, brown kind That you see in new films and Smell in old books Real magic isn’t magic But it is The spells we cast Surround us and enfold us Incantations murmured Without even realising it “I fucking love you” Takes life, takes wing…

I love the pattern of you I love the pattern that is you You’re a cloud, a wave The shadows of leaves rippling on my wall I can’t believe my luck: That I’m here to witness the pattern that is you Unfold and stretch, giggle and prance I could easily have missed it all If…

Tonight, Robbie took the chest away, The big one that was in your den, Well, the room that used to be your den. I had to empty it out first, And it was full of memories. The elephants from that card you bought me in ’94 When you lost me in the Market cos of…

?C particle (??c0 = 55?11+13(stat)?23+18(syst) fs) Mayfly ( 1 – 24 hours) Gastrotirch (three days) Bees (four weeks) Dragonfly (four months) Chameleon (one year) Newt (seven years) Green Frog (ten years) Our Love (fourteen years) Cicada (seventeen years) Canary (twenty-two years) Chimpanzee (forty years) Elephant (seventy years) Giant Tortoise (one hundred and fifty years) Marine…

When Chris came round to do the garden I asked him about the fuchsia. The branches had blackened and withered. Do you remember how pretty it looked from the kitchen window? I remember you humming those perfect half-songs as you looked out at it. We used to have to scrape by it on the way…

Fuck the world then eat it. Rip out its papery throat Laced with reasonable lies Bound with the gnawed skin Of all its victims. But not me. This is for every fucking bruise, Every tasted tear, Every year wasted waiting For nothing and again For nothing and again Again the fear of it dripping down…

In my dream You’d come to visit I don’t know why There was no reason: it was a dream. You kept seeing things in me That I deny That I lose That I gave away to a car boot sale years ago, I thought. Beautiful, you saw them And detailed my failure Each speck of…

I just spent twenty minutes Clicking on photos at the top of my Facebook page Trying to get one of me and you to appear. And it did. But when I refreshed the page, It had all fucked-up and the pictures were random. Lost, falling, like stars / rain / tears. I stubbed my toe…

I forgot to put the tablets in first, So I had to take it all out again. Does that really make a difference? Why do they need to be next to the drum? Do they miss the drum? Does the separation hurt them? I do my washing and I think about you. I do the…

Please, let me sleep, That’s all I want, To switch this all off, To make the noise stop. To cut the circles, The cycles, the eyelets, This treadmill of being. There’s no pleasure here, No comfort, no warmth, No home, no you. Pretend, so we keep The show on the road, The audience amused. Or…

Words = shit, Words mean nothing, Words != truth or now or what you feel, Or what you will feel. They’re easy and common, Thrown around bedrooms, Battered by misuse, Until they bleed to death. Garbled intimacies, Terrible promises, Hopeful even as they’re Strangled by phones. Their meaning beaten out of them By their careless…

You’re glowing blue again, Neon orgone, basking, stretching, And every atom Of every molecule Of every cell I love. Although his kisses are still on you, I know you want to be here, Little death, swearing, running, Tearing through clothes, Tearing through skin, Until we are naked. Anxious, Desperate, Bone grating on bone, Sweat and…

I’m happy to be In the glow of this bonfire I’m happy to be Surrounded and enfolded, invisible in the crowd I’m happy to be Alone Though all of the above is obviously a lie I could have come here with friends But I didn’t I could have met friends that were here But I…

Hemsby, Seals waving at us in Blakeney, Hugging you and watching the millennium arrive, In a blaze of fireworks and kisses… Wrecked car stereo, walking round UEA with you, Holding hands in Castle Mall… Early morning fog, freezing house but warm hugs, Is there anyone under 80 in Cringleford? Then we went to get your…

Where’s the Livejournal gif for my current mood? I want it 128 colours and no dither used So that dull fucking twats See it and drop dead Where’s the handy animation To hang over my head? Where’s the killfilter for your stream of utter shite? Why can’t I banish you from my eyes? Your thirteenth-hand…

Some people are like wasps Haplodiploid in their hatred Of creatures better feted By smiles and kisses, the fleeting embraces Of lonely apes clinging to each other On a mudball whirling through nothing Some people are like wasps They’ll sting you on the dancefloor They’ll sting you at your desk They’ll sting you in your…