So much has been happening to me.

So much loveliness.

I’m fizzing.

Do you know those times when you are so terribly excited that you start to lose the ability to speak lucidly or slow down enough to be intelligible? Those times when all the tiny hairs on the back of your neck seem to join the same army and, as one, they rise up and fuck-up your usually debonair and enui-laden persona.

Those times when you see someone and you want them so much you feel yourself actually growling. Growling with the hunger of needing them so fucking badly, of needing to feel their naked skin to yours. Needing to be inside them, to feel them around you but also for them to be inside you, for them to feel how much you trust them and love them.

Those times are now.

I’m going to make sure I’m in them forever.

Batman Or Twatman

responding to the above meme…

Hmm, I dunno ~ there’s the post-Snyder, ruined Batman who wields machine guns and murders his way through a group of henchmen with nary a qualm. He’s not too clever but is BUFF and A BILLIONAIRE. Er… and… er… that’s it?

Then there’s the guy I grew up reading about, the greatest detective alive as written about by Detective Comics. The hero who refused to kill anyone because he was so traumatised by seeing his parents murdered in front of his eyes. An intellectual who played the fool and used all his power and wealth to fight crime for no reward or recognition. Who realised that he had to actually *take care* of his greatest nemesis because that person was broken and not wholly responsible for his actions, as vile as they were.

tl;dr – Batman wasn’t always a dickhead, blame Snyder.

Stop Wiping Your Butt So Hard

Good morning, here’s a story about my butthole. Years ago, it was itching constantly, and I couldn’t figure out why. I assumed it was dirty, so when I went to the bathroom, I always made sure to wipe extra hard. Finally a doctor had to tell me to stop that, and give my butthole a break. I did, and I stopped itching. I tell you this humiliating story for a good reason: according to Mental Floss, a lot of you are wiping too hard as well.

Source: Stop Wiping Your Butt So Hard

Trisha Noble

So, it’s a Saturday so I’m obviously watching Columbo on Channel 5 and the ep is Playback. The baddie is a awesome Oskar Werner and this was probably the first time I saw him if I saw this when I was a kid, his Truffaut turns were unknown to me then.

In the gallery scene, I’m hypnotised by this beautiful actress:

Who is, apparently, Trisha Noble, an Aussie actress. BUT wait, she was also a singer and had many hit records, including two number ones in Australia. Here she is, looking very young:

What a beautiful voice! And she was only seventeen here, bless!

So, she was a successful pop poppet and eventually ended up doing telly and that eventually lead to this appearance in Danger Man in 1966:

She was also in Carry On Camping and I’m pretty sure I remember her fromBuck Rogers In The 25th Century when I was a nipper:

And then we’re up to where she appears in Columbo:

In 1975, Noble appeared in the Columbo episode “Playback”, where she meets the murderer (played by Oskar Werner) in an art gallery wearing a low-cut dress. She was cast by the director who had spotted her in a party wearing the same dress. (Source)

I’m completely unsurprised that director Bernard Kowalski was as beguiled by her beauty as I am. But, as pretty as she is, it’s her presence as an actress that is electric. Watching her in Columbo and the other titles I’ve managed to find, Noble is an accomplished and powerful actress, whether it’s bawdy comedy, McGoohan-style terse flippancy or the glorious kid-SF of Buck Rogers.

Oh, and she wasn’t done with major films yet. Here she is as Jobal Naberrie:

 Yep, that’s right ~ she’s Padme Amidala’s Mum. Which means that Trisha Noble is Luke and Leia’s Granny!

So, from teenage pop sensation to respected actress who is still now, at the age of 71, doing theatre.

Now that’s a life! 

Destination Star Trek 3

This weekend just gone, 3-5 October, I had the wonderful good fortune to be able to go to Destination Star Trek 3 at the Excel Centre, London.

I arrived a bit before my mate and fellow Trekkie, Matt and I quickly got changed into my Voyager costume. Once we’d got ready, we hit the main hall and were quickly surrounded by all manner of geeks in a variety of uniforms and outfits.


This was my outfit:

My #trek #cosplay today! LLAP! #dst3 #destinationstartrek3 #tos #tas #tng #ds9 #voyager #enterprise #williamshatner #patrickstewart #jeriryan #brucegreenwood #karlurban #nichellenichols #jonathanfrakes #brentspiner #levarburton #michaeldorn #marinasirtis

The pips aren’t quite right but I was very happy with it for the forty-five quid it cost from Cosplaysky. I added the metal badge myself, that was quite expensive at twenty-one quid but worth it.

So, we walked round the exhibits, spotted stars, stood at the end of massive queues trying to spot other stars, took pictures of random splendidly-costumed fans: everything you’re meant to do a con.

The whole weekend was full of fun and surprises, I met so many lovely, new people there and have since added a few of them on Instagram and Tumblr. I also met this suave motherfucker:

#karlurban was a total babe! #dst3
KARL FUCKING URBAN! One of my fave current actors and beautiful as McCoy in the reboot films.

There were also parties on the Friday and Saturday nights and they were silly fun, too. Loads of people asked to get their pic taken with me and I didn’t really understand why but Matt said it was because I stood out and looked quite imposing? I have no idea but here I am towering over fellow trekkies:

05-10-14 at 00-49-2

Looking at that pic, I guess I do look like I could chuck someone out of an airlock fairly easily. I swear, I’m not that big really. I mean, I’m fat, obviously but I look like Starfleet Security here. (HEY, ABRAMS, IF YOU WANT FAT, BROWN SECURITY FOR ST3, GIMME A RING!)

Then, courtesy of the lovely girl on the bottom right of this pic:

04-10-14 at 23-22


I find Matt Swan highly illogical


Although I think I look a bit more Romulan, should have had some tatts put on.

I felt good but I couldn’t compete with the effort these peeps had gone to:

#nibirans #dst3 #destinationstartrek3 #tos #tas #tng #ds9 #voyager #enterprise #williamshatner #patrickstewart #jeriryan #brucegreenwood #karlurban #nichellenichols #jonathanfrakes #brentspiner #levarburton #michaeldorn #marinasirtis #gatesmcfadden #johnd

Or these:

Love across the barricades!  #cardassian #bajoran #dst3 #destinationstartrek3 #tos #tas #tng #ds9 #voyager #enterprise #williamshatner #patrickstewart #jeriryan #brucegreenwood #karlurban #nichellenichols #jonathanfrakes #brentspiner #levarburton #michael


#dst3 #destinationstartrek3 #tos #tas #tng #ds9 #voyager #enterprise #williamshatner #patrickstewart #jeriryan #brucegreenwood #karlurban #nichellenichols #jonathanfrakes #brentspiner #levarburton #michaeldorn #marinasirtis #gatesmcfadden #johndelancie #d


#borg #dst3 #destinationstartrek3 #tos #tas #tng #ds9 #voyager #enterprise #williamshatner #patrickstewart #jeriryan #brucegreenwood #karlurban #nichellenichols #jonathanfrakes #brentspiner #levarburton #michaeldorn #marinasirtis #gatesmcfadden #johndelan

There’s really waaay too many pics to post up on here but they’re all in a handy little gallery which you can see by clicking here.

The whole weekend was inspirational for me. Star Trek remains the most powerful vision of a utopian future in popular culture. Where other films / TV shows are dystopian, with us being killed off by nukes / viruses / uppity AIs, Trek offers hope. Trek posits a future where we can learn from our mistakes and eventually end up with a moneyless society where war, poverty and disease have all been eliminated. No guesses for what I think that economy is based upon.

This vision of a better future, of a future where humanity isn’t segregated by all the -isms that fracture us now, was mirrored totally in the Trekkies at the con. Yes, I loved meeting Denise Crosby and Brent Spiner and Karl Urban but the main attraction of DST3 was the other fans. Intelligent, funny, inspiring, silly, adventurous, the people of Trek are diamonds.

So, if you’ve never been to a Trek con before, make sure you don’t miss out on the next one near you. Honestly, you won’t meet a nicer bunch of people in your life.