I once dated a woman who turned up holding a pole with a bit of cloth attached to it that reflected light of between 620 to 750 nanometres.

Looking back, that was a red flag.

~ at the band meeting ~

“Look, you just don’t fit in with our whole aesthetic, dude. You don’t get it!”

“Fuck you, dude, I don’t get it? Who the fuck writes a song about ‘missing the rain,’ what does that even mean?”

“Hey, moron, it’s BLESS THE RAIN, BLESS! And, oh yeah, well who names their dog after a Midwestern US landlocked state bordering Nebraska!? GET OUT!”

~ travels home, opens the door to waiting doggy ~

“Well, Kansas, I guess we’re not in Toto anymore.”