HARD BREXIT – SCOTLAND TRIUMPHS!

I shall now put on my Dave Hutchinson SF hat and say:

Imagine Britain goes hard Brexit. The nations are in uproar! Scotland holds a snap referendum and votes for independence and to stay in the EU.

Now, every company that is based in London can have an English-speaking UK base if they just up sticks to 400 miles north.

SO THEY DO.

The reverse starts happening in Northern Ireland – companies scramble to move south and into EU Eire.

WALES SECEDES FROM THE UK and is welcomed into the EU as an independent nation.

England now stands alone. Toyota leave, Nissan leave, every major bank moves either to Scotland or France. Every EU-funded research project moves to Scottish universities.

There is a huge brain drain and money flume to Scotland, Wales and Ireland.

England becomes a backwater, surviving mainly on tourism and Cornish pasties until CORNWALL SECEDES as they never liked the English anyway.

Scotland experiences a 21st century re-birth and becomes a cultural, financial and academic hub of Europe.

The only fly in the ointment is the wash of illegal immigrants from England. The Scottish President, Adrian MacCormick proposes a wall to keep the desperate, impoverished English hordes out.

2028, work starts on Adrian’s Wall…

FUCK THE POLICE

This pig shot a black teenager *walking away from him* in the back SIXTEEN TIMES. Gets away with 2nd degree murder, will be out in no time at all. If he serves any, that is:

The second-degree verdict reflects the jury’s finding that Van Dyke believed his life was in danger but that the belief was unreasonable. The jury also had the option of first degree-murder, a charge that required a finding that the shooting was unnecessary and unreasonable.

Second-degree murder usually carries a sentence of less than 20 years, especially for someone with no criminal history. Probation is also an option. Van Dyke was also convicted of 16 counts of aggravated battery — one for each bullet. (Source: CBC)

Thank goodness racism is dead and I’m just yet another touchy Asian going on about it all the time. 

Oh, and I nearly forgot: 

FUCK THE POLICE

Been Sold A Pup

You could say that in terms of the reality of Brexit, the vast majority of people who voted for it have:

been sold a pup. 

In the days following the Brexit vote, I heard many stories from non-white friends about an increased level of racist attacks. They were harangued at bus stops, in shops, just walking through town by people demanding to know why they were “still here” when the Brexit vote was to “take our country back.” This anecdotal evidence is sadly backed up by numerous reports and actual scientific research.

Now, I’m not saying that everyone who voted leave did so for racist reasons but let’s look at the issues around that campaign in the form of this handy tag-cloud generated by ITV at the time: 

Hmmm… what’s that big word in the middle? I can’t quite make it out? Oh yeah – IMMIGRATION! STOP THUH IMMIGANTS STEALIN OWR JOBS!!! AND WIMMINS!!111!!  BRINGIN OVER THEH SEASONED FOOOD AND NON-ROMAN NUMERALS!!!!!

Now, you may be reading this and thinking, “This is an outrage! I voted for Brexit and some of my best friends are darkies!” Well, fucking congrats to you ~ you’re the one person who voted in Chancellor Hitler purely because of your concern for train timetabling. But let’s be honest about the company you keep, eh? 

Moving on… the hilarious thing about the fuckwit racists having a go at my fellow non-whites is that their votes will mean that the first people to leave Britain will be foreign European workers. I know Poles, Lithuanians, Germans and others who are thinking of moving back to their respective homelands because of Brexit. All of these people happen to be as white as new-fallen snow. 

Do you see? 

The Brexit campaign whipped up a xenophobic frenzy, promising, in the eyes of the people it was swindling, a return to GREAT BRITAIN, a Britain free from immigrants. And when racists hear the word ‘immigrants,’ the first ethnic groups they think of are not white, trust me. 

And then what happens? SURPRISE, WE’RE ALL STILL HERE!

Which leads me inexorably back to: 

The idioms pig in a poke and sell a pup (or buy a pup) refer to a confidence trick originating in the Late Middle Ages, when meat was scarce, but cats and dogs were not.[1][2][3] The scheme entailed the sale of a suckling pig in a poke. The bag, sold unopened, would actually contain a cat or dog, which was substantially less valuable as a source of meat. The French idiom acheter (un) chat en poche (to buy a cat in a bag) refers to an actual sale of this nature, as do many European equivalents, while the English expression refers to the appearance of the trick.[4]

This trick may be the origin of the expression “letting the cat out of the bag“,[7] meaning to reveal that which is secret (if the would-be buyer opened the bag, the trick would be revealed).[4]

 ~ Wikipedia (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pig_in_a_poke)

I feel that the massive lurch to the right of Brexit is a perfect opportunity to inform people that con jobs aren’t new; they are so commonplace that we have enshrined this particular scam in languages from Britain to Vietnam

Nationalism is a perverse stupidity necessarily contained within borders. Wisdom is truly international. 

So, be careful when you see those buses emblazoned with how much extra money the NHS will get if you Vote Boris. Because you’re probably being sold a pup. Or, as the Zulu say, ” Ukuthenga ingulube esesakeni!”

Heteronormabored

One of the things I find most tedious about het porn is the INEVITABILITY of the sequence of sex actions. It’s always shit dialogue, oral (usually only one way, mind), vaginal, cumshot. Maybe they’ll throw in some anal, maybe they’ll go foot mad or something. But that’s it.

as an old, old man who remembers before it was all quarks round here, I am dulllllled dulll eduelsl argh by this.

Why not start with vaginal penetration and end with a light cheese omelette? And, no, I don’t mean a cum omelette ~ we’ve ALL eaten a cum omelette, I mean a piquant cheese omelette with a souffle-ish texture and a sprig of parsley on top. Hold the blat. 

Why not have the bloke come in an eggcup, put it on the roof of his car and then drive to the seaside? You could dub some oldey-timey Harold Lloyd music over this bit. It’d be mint. I wouldn’t know whether to wank or clap. 

Why not have the woman dressed up as godzilla and do that metallic SKRREEEKKKKK with every penile thrust? Perhaps she could shoot metal fire out of her arse when she fake-came? 

I mean, they say everything has been done but that’s just a lazy excuse dreamt up by postmodernists because they couldn’t be arsed to open their curtains in the morning. Those ideas above are FRESH and EDGY and NOT BEEN DONE BEFORE. 

god, I’m bored of porn. 

Dump Trump – UK National Protest, London 13/7/2018

Dump Trump-58

On Friday, my mate Nat and I had the privilege of attending the national anti-Trump demo in London.

It was wild.

I had planned on doing the whole march but I’d fucked my left ankle in the week (over-walking, ironically) and it was in a brace so we ended up just joining the rally at Trafalgar Square. (To be honest, we were aiming to join the march halfway but I hilariously mis-judged how ridiculously slow “hopping in a cab” would be… Nat was the model of forbearance, only pointing out the one time that we could have been there in twenty minutes by Tube.)

Well, we got to the Square, which we’ve been at many times before and it was mind-blowing. We had to walk there from quite a way because… well, there were just too many people. Here’s an aerial video from the BBC:

We could barely make any progress into the square, it was so rammed! And the diversity of protestors was extraordinary; this wasn’t your usual conglomeration of seasoned lefty types, there were all sorts out. The signs people were carrying reflected this as usually they’re overwhelmingly official organisers’ signs, handed out by stewards. But at Friday’s demo, most of the signs I saw were hand made. Some of them, like this one were works of art:

 

Dump Trump-19

This was a simply huge demonstration that people in Britain are angry about Trump’s racist, sexist, ableist, homophobic reign and are refusing to keep quiet about it no matter how much Theresa May pals up to him. The man is a walking pustule of hatred for all difference, I seriously still cannot believe he’s president. I never, in my entire life, thought there would be a new US president so demented, so hateful, so full of utter, utter shite that I would miss fucking Reagan.

Hallo, Donald!

I managed to get a shot of the Trump blimp which, apparently, has hurt his lil feelings:

Dump Trump-8

Awww, poor Trump! We should feel sorry we’ve hurt this man’s feelings, this man who forcibly tears families apart at the US border and revels in the tears of the separated children. As with all Tories, they’re the actual snowflakes: they act abominably to everyone they deem inferior but the minute someone says anything about them it’s “WAAH WAAAH WAAAHHH why you being soooo mean???”

So, no, I don’t give a shit about this idiotic weasel’s feelings. Fuck Trump, fuck his policies, fuck everyone who voted for him and fuck every cowardly US official propping up his corrupt regime.

(More pics of the demo here)