There is a woodlouse travelling across the vast plane of my carpet.
As I pick up the woodlouse in my spoon and watch it trying to scurry up the sides, I wonder – is this the equivalent of a human space traveller falling into a wormhole? What incredible velocity is it experiencing as I transport it to my front door and open it? Will it regale its fellow arthropods with incredible tales of Ur-space?
I HAVE BECOME WOODLOUSE GOD.