Und Jetzt, Eine Kleine Schiesse Joken.

Ai generated image of a grizzled dog in front of a truck, vintage tones.

~ at the band meeting ~

“Look, you just don’t fit in with our whole aesthetic, dude. You don’t get it!”

“Fuck you, dude, I don’t get it? Who the fuck writes a song about ‘missing the rain,’ what does that even mean?”

“Hey, moron, it’s BLESS THE RAIN, BLESS! And, oh yeah, well who names their dog after a Midwestern US landlocked state bordering Nebraska!? GET OUT!”

~ travels home, opens the door to waiting doggy ~

“Well, Kansas, I guess we’re not in Toto anymore.”

Strangers, Friends, Lovers, Friends, Strangers Again

I’m 56 now. In my *personal experience* (not trying to universalise this), as one gets older, it becomes perilously easy to lose friends and harder to make new ones.

When I was 18 and gigging every other week, I’d just bump into people – boom, MATES. It was fission-like, friend leading to new friends.

That changes as you get older, you have to put a lot more conscious energy into the process. To get a burp. Like a fusion tokamak.

Today, I’ve been messaging people I’ve lost touch with in that drifty, floaty way. We didn’t argue, we didn’t fall out but life just got in the way and then it’s a year or two or PRE-COVID since you last spoke.

And isn’t that awkward and shouldn’t we leave things and argh embarrassment?

I would, but I miss them. Once someone has been my friend, I’ll always think about them, always wonder how they’re doing. It’s even worse if we were lovers

Powers Of 2

Ai-generated film poster of a young man and woman back to back, joined by a fiery boundary, text above says POWESRENT2

Was anyone else obsessed with powers of 2 when they were a lil kid, like under 10yo?

I remember memorising them all up to 65536 and being really, really happy. It just gave me a deep pleasure, the kind a beautiful sunset gives me now.

I tried later to get up to 2147483648 but it never took.

And then, when home computers took off, there’s them magic numbers again. Commodore 64, BBCB 32k, Dragon 32.

They’re just… really cool? I can’t explain it? I’m terrible at maths but this series I find as pleasing as a snowflake or Erik Satie’s Ogives.

You know when something just cleaves through you on a deep, deep ontological level. It feels like they’re some kind of cosmic, a priori pattern that *I have* to acknowledge?

The roll of 256 to 512, of 1024 to 2048… there’s an immanent beauty there.

RE-TOOLING SCIENCE FICTION FOR MAXIMAL CONTENT PLACEMENT SYNERGY SCHMYNERGY SEO BLAH BLAH BLAAAAH

AI-generated image of a white punk girl with short blue hair in front of a cluster of gibberish words in various fonts and colours

Re-tooling #ScienceFiction to increase #synergy with #DemographicallyOptimised #ContentCreators and other #CapitalistFuckingBullshit

Fellow worms, behold:

1. Beyond Lies The Wub Wub Wub

2. Ancillary Wordle

3. I Have No Host But I Must Stream

4. Followers For Algernon

5. “Repent, Harley Quinn!” Said The TikTok Teen

6. Cytween

7. I, Roomba

8. When Robot And Crow Did The Ice Bucket Challenge

9. Rimworld

Are ye not #incentivised to #CreateCreateCreate ?? ?

OVERWHELMING, AM I NOT?

Meet Cute (2022)

First – this is not a romcom. Well, it’s about as much a romcom as Punch Drunk Love or Eternal Sunshine are. There are funny bits but it’s the baby chickens on Eraserhead’s dinner plate funny.

Fundamentally, it’s a science fiction film that uses the mechanism of time travel to explore determinism, identity, existentialism and, most of all, the dream myth of love. If that sounds up your street, I think you’ll like this film prodding your grey matter back into life after MAJOR MOTION PICTURE hibernation.

In the end, it’s about the mess that life is and the simple, reconstructive force that redemptive love can be, once we stop dodging it.

Both Cuoco and Davidson deliver stellar, nuanced performances that, in a fairer world, would have them up for awards. But this isn’t an Oscar-bait movie; it’s an open rumination rather than a polemic.

In a TikTok culture where every piece of media seems geared to appeal to the emotional maturity of children, seeing an adult film about the reality of adult love is almost shockingly refreshing. Not one “wait – WHART?”, not one 30+yo acting like they’re 14. Real love: messy and stupid and horrible and wonderful and crushing and sedimentarily deep with a lifetime of hurts.

What would you do with your time machine?

Mastodon Versus Tumblr

Midjourney generated cartoon comic mastodon, yellow with its trunk upraised in front of two trees.

For me, Mastodon has the energy of a really earnest, fun Uni society, probs doing some eco shit or other actually important work. Everyone is more intelligent than me, is a sysadmin or famous writer.

Whereas, #Tumblr is just that gif of the chimp pissing into his own mouth and absolutely loving it. Gargle-giggling.

This is why I need to be on both these august portals of humanitude. Their energies balance each other.

harrumph

Billionaires Are Wankers

I’m watching Titans and you know what suddenly made me sad?

We have plenty of billionaires in the real world.

And they are all wankers.

Imagine what you could do with that power? The positives changes! But we don’t have superheroes like Batman.

We have SUPERCLOWNS like petulant child Elon Musk, fucking up millions of peoples’ communications on a whim.

It’s like an alternate reality where Bruce Wayne became the Joker.

And, yeah, what fool expects good from the ruling class.

But a part of me will always be a comic book kid.