Telex – Haven’t We Met Somewhere Before?

I only know about Telex cos my mate who worked at WH Smiths with me lent me their album ‘Birds And Bees’ (called ‘Sex’ everywhere else, apparently).

I knew nothing about the band, it was 1982, who knew anything about musicians back then? If they weren’t in Smash Hits or on the Oxford Road Show – nada.

I fell in love with the mystery of the band and of this album, which sounds like a synthpop soundtrack for a film noir. The production stands up now, forty years after it was made. It remains one of my favourite ever albums. I didn’t even know then it was a collaboration with the equally awesome Sparks.

I’m gonna rip off the Telex sound as much as is humanly possible.

Come and get me, coppers! NYAH!

On Sleep Deprivation

deep breath

So, I’ve not been sleeping much because I’ve had a weird bastard cold. I’m getting around 3 hours a night.

This morning I woke with bad jaw gland pain at around 6am and went to take 2 paracetamols and 2 ibuprofens. I use different shapes to help me differentiate which is which. But this time, due to the confusion of no sleep, I went wrong and took 4 ibuprofens.


Still half asleep, I got into a big panic, googled ibuprofen overdose on my phone and got something saying 800mg (which I’d just taken) would damage my kidneys and I needed to go to hospital.

So, I spent 10 mins panicking, trying to make myself sick and couldn’t. Tried both ends of the toothbrush which was not fun at all. Nothing.

Finally, I calmed down a bit and phoned my sis (who is a doctor) and luckily she was up.

Her words, “No, no, you’ll be fine. If they were that bad, they wouldn’t give them out like Smarties. Just drink loads of water and take rest”

Cue very embarrassed me.

I really, really need some solid sleep.

At least I didn’t got to WebMD and find out I’ve got cancer.

Loach On Starmer’s Treachery

The people who fell for the lies of the Blairites about Corbyn were just being good little Guardian readers, you can’t blame them for not knowing about politics.

Of course a lifelong anti-racist campaigner is actually a secret racist, IT WAS ALL A CUNNING PLOY. It’s so obvious!

Starmer, on the other hand, wants to get rid of one member one vote. He LITERALLY wants to make the Labour Party more un-democratic.

And from those same Corbyn-haters: silence.

As one of my fave folk tunes says:

Raise the scarlet standard high
Beneath its folds we’ll live and die
Though cowards flinch and traitors sneer
We’ll keep the red flag flying here

Just One Platonic Cornetto

PHOTO OF A CORNETTORemy Sharp from Brighton, United Kingdom, CC BY-SA 2.0 <>, via Wikimedia Commons

My proposition today: the idea of a Cornetto is far better than the reality.

Or should I say, the ideal of a Cornetto is something that cannot be matched by the faint, 4D shadows that our universe’s Cornettos exist within.

It’s hot. You imagine a Cornetto. You imagine unpeeling it, hoping the little chocolatey end bit won’t break off. You imagine biting into the creamy top, the crunchy little bits of chocolate and peanuts, the crisp, delightfully frangible wafer.


You buy a real Cornetto. It’s a bit squished on top. No worries. You unwrap it and half the chocolatey bits are stuck to the foil at the top. You try to lick them off. They fall on your clothing and melt immediately into what looks like a catshit stain. The peanut bits – they’re gone. Were they every really there?

Oh well.

The cone itself is… squishy. Like a piece of cardboard that you forgot to put in your bin and now it’s been out there a fortnight and you know you have to pick it up but you know when you do it’s gonna be major ick as it’s all squishy now. It has the floppiness of a newly dead corpse, before rigor sets in.

Never mind.

You attack the head of the cone. As the result melts in your mouth, you realise it’s not the premier gelato you imagined but some frozen white foam that tastes of late stage capitalism and diabetes. It evaporates from your tongue leaving no trace, like the promises of teenage romance.


Well, you’ve started it now, you have to eat it quickly or it’ll just melt all down you, then you’ll look like you’ve jizzed on catshit. You wolf it down, chasing entropy like a greyhound chasing a tachyon. Inevitably, your fingers end up covered with sugary slime and you lick them clean but not in a savouring way, in a sad way. Reflecting on all the bad choices you’ve ever made in your life, you slurp at your fingertips.


You swear to never buy another Cornetto.

You buy a packet of six soft Cornettos. No, but these ones, these ones are soft? Do you see?


When I Invented Silent Gigs / Discos

Have a look at this interview from March 1997:

(Source: New York Times)

If you look up Silent Disco on Wikipedia, you get this:

In May 2002 artist Meg Duguid hosted Dance with me… a silent dance party at the Museum of Contemporary Art Chicago where she created an outdoor club installation complete with velvet ropes and glow rope in which a DJ spun a transmission to wireless headsets that audience members put on and danced to.[4][5][6] Duguid threw a second dance party at the Museum of Contemporary Art, Chicago the following year, entitled Dueling DJs where two DJS simultaneously spun two separate musical transmissions various wireless headsets that audience members put on and danced to. This performance was repeated the following year (2004) at the Chicago Cultural Center.[7]

The term “silent disco” has been in existence since at least 2005 with Bonnaroo Music Festival advertising such an event that year with DJ’s Motion Potion, Quickie Mart and DJ medi4 and headphones provided by KOSS.[8] In recent years Silent Events has presented Bonaroo’s Silent Disco.[9]

In the Netherlands, the traveling arts and culture festival De Parade already featured a “stille disco” [silent disco] earlier, for example in 2003.[10] Dutch DJs Nico Okkerse and Michael Minton have been described as “the pioneers … in the legend of silent disco” because they started “stille disco” events in 2002.[11] Okkerse claims his company “created Silent Disco in 2002”[12] and its site does have photos from such events going back to at least 2003.[13]

(Source: Wikipedia)

So, yaay, that was five years after when I invented it, depending which one you believe.

But then…

A silent concert (or headphones concert) is a live music performance where the audience, in the same venue as the performing artist, listens to the music through headphones.[20] The idea originated in 1997 when Erik Minkkinen,[21][22] an electronic artist[23][24] from Paris, streamed a live concert from his closet over the internet to three listeners in Japan.[25] The concept led to a decentralized organization known as le placard (“the Cupboard”),[26] which allowed anybody to establish a streaming or listening room.[25]

The first headphone concert taking place in front of a live audience took place March 17, 1999, at Trees in Dallas, Texas. The American psychedelic band The Flaming Lips used an FM signal generator at the venue and handed out mini FM radio receivers and headphones to each member of the audience. A normal speaker system was also used so the sound could also be felt. This continued on their “International Music Against Brain Degeneration Revue” tour with mixed results, with technical problems including dead batteries and intoxicated audience members having trouble tuning to the correct frequency.[27]

(Source: Wikipedia)

So, depending on when in ’97 Minkkinen did his proto-Twitch stream, maybe I’m a co-inventor. But Flaming Lips, March???

Highly suspicious…

UPDATE!!! Just got this email in:

Hi Jyoti,Erik Minkkinen here. Fell on your post about silent disco. Yes those wikipedia articles are quite erroneous, never bothered to try to fix them, actually I don’t claim to be the inventor of anything.

The fact is , true , the idea came up in 1997 , but the actual first festival which happened in Paris in sept 1998 was a non stop 72 hour event , and became a yearly festival for many years. here are links to the archives

The first one was not streamed , it is only starting from the second one in Vienna that we opened to distant concerts. The festival is still ongoing , not as much activity as there used to be, have been concentrating more on micro fm and radio works with

Hope this helps

Take care


Isn’t that cool? Please check out Erik’s sites, there’s some lovely, creative stuff there!

Kate (2021)

So, I just watched ‘Kate,’ an action flick on Netflix (not bad, I’d give it a solid 8.5/10) and I thought I’d pop and see the score. Hmmm… seems quite low… I wonder why?

Then I see this review:

Here we go again. Another stupid movie where the female can do anything males twice her size can do. Well in real life if you look at the murder rates of women it's shows this isn't the case and no matter how much sillywood tries to push this nonsense on is it is just a joke. And it's leave poor females with more self esteem problems as they relasi as that they can not and will never be able to do what men can do.

And using Winestead who is a terrible actress and couldn't pull off this role if she was the only female around. Basically a useless skin bag. This female would be killed before she could decide how stupid she looks trying to do something she obviously can not.

Males and females are different and it's what makes them BOTH special. Stop forcing us to watch this garbage which has negative effects on RL females. Today's females have big mouths and weak bodies. Not the ideal combination when dealing with the confrontation that they stir up complaining about what VICTIMS they are.

In the real world women are victims. The movies won't change that. It'll be changed when females are treated the same as males from birth. Meaning, at school they are shouted at and made to do the hard chores that males students have always had to do like moving tables and picking up stuff. It must start from birth.

And secondly, only when women are forced to do national service or be signed up to the draft LIKE men have been forced to do. Men lose their lives in the thousand for females to moan and whine. About time females lost theirs too for pointless wars.

There’s a load of reviews like this, sometimes the woman-hating is better disguised than this, mostly not.

But, wow, this man is a walking lake of toxic masculinity. Hoo boy!


Kate‘ is a finely-crafted, atmospheric action film that mixes up many aesthetics; there’s obviously some John Wick in here with very unrealistic but well-choreographed fight sequences, some weeb-baiting with big dollops of TECH-NOIR-ZAIBATSU-NEON and many, many perfect assassin tropes.

What ‘Kate’ does better than most films is that it actually has great actors at the emotional cruxes of the plot. Harrelson and Winstead have a great chemistry as Handler and Asset respectively which grounds what could otherwise dissolves into a sea of squibs and gory, weightless deaths.

The central premise of Winstead’s race through the night also makes it all the more fun (I won’t spoil it here, obviously) and it’s almost Columbo-ish in that we know the end but we still want to see how she gets there.

There’s not one hammy turn, everyone lends a heft to, let’s face it, comic-book level unrealistic action scenes. And that helps sell it, at least on the emotional level. Props particularly to young actress Miku Patricia Martineau for a nuanced performance that has to cover a huge gamut of emotional situations. Look, it’s an action flick, you have to suspend your disbelief a little. In real life, even hardened soldiers can suffer from PTSD for years. But the characters in action films – BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! No worries.

So, within those genre confines, ‘Kate’ is a fine film with some beautiful moments of stillness in between the raining shards of glass and gouts of Kensington Gore.

Go get a bag of popcorn and a huge slurpee, settle back and be prepared for a tear or two to go along with the thrills and spills.