Year: 2021

  • Albums Of The Year 2021

    What do I want? I WANT TO FUCKING DANCE! Furthermore, I want an album that skips between classic, honey-soaked Miami bass and the bestest electro of my wasted youth. Thank fuck FBC and Vhoor have delivered even more than that and given us the supreme, ultra, bastard apex PARTY ALBUM of 2021. If this doesn’t…

  • Crimbo In The Studio

  • My New Startups

    Marketing meeting: “Just putting these out there, moving forward I think there’s a possibility of high SEO synergy allied with full-spectrum organic penetration of that app my kids are always on, the little twats.”

  • Tell Me

  • Some Indian

    Just got this charming comment on my Your Woman video: After a lifetime of this shit, I am not surprised.

  • Baby Dinosaur

    I just had a proper Abe Simpson hypernap and… …I had a pet diplodocus! Like this: Diplo was wearing lil woollen knitted jimjams to keep him warm so I very gently turned him onto his back in order to access his belly for rubs by. He very much appreciated this, making high trilling sounds and…

  • Does Anyone Miss Halt And Catch Fire As Much As I Do?

    I need to watch the whole series again with someone who gets it. But most people who are old enough to get it stopped feeling emotions two decades ago. And the people with emotions are too young to really get it.

  • My First NFT

    Here’s is my first NFT offering, the first person to offer me ONE MILLION SPOUNDS receives the PNG file. I promise I haven’t copied it much. And pngs are un-copyable anyway. Also, there’s no NFT as I cba. It’s yours in Zuck’s EvilCloud FOREVER. #bargain #HighArt #FuckNFTs

  • The Best TV Shows Ever

    At the minute, this is a bare list. If I ever have time, I’ll flesh it out with them new-fangled hyperlinks and maybe an under construction gif. Ladies and genitals: BEST TV EVER LIST 2021 EDIT – Charles Smith very kindly converted this to an IMDB list. Thank you, Charlie!

  • Last Ever Palfrey

    Tom, the head honcho, was at work and told me the whole business is moving out of town. I felt quite sad, don’t know why. They’re not closing, just re-locating. I guess it’s because it feels like another nail in the coffin of Derby’s city centre shopping/dining culture. BUT it’s not shutting… just moving! STAY…

  • First Shoot With Iyisha

    Although I’ve known her for years from Mosh and other Derby nightlife escapades, this is the first shoot we’ve ever done. She’s a natural, the photosession just powered by, looking forward to working with her again.


    Is there anything funnier than the petulant pettiness of pet rockstars? I watched this earlier: After I finished giggling at two grown men essentially saying the other smelt of pooh, I pondered something I’ve thought for years. Why isn’t there a Viz strip about Billy Corgan? In particular, I always thought there should have been…

  • The Curse Of Atemporality In Tech-Saturated Late-Capitalist Cultures

    Consider… … the sea of muddy kids in the crowd, a sea in movement as well as density. So many humans, packed into a small space together, bobbing around every which way. Shit-eating grins, sodden jumpers. And not one phone in sight. Don’t worry, this isn’t some Back To The Land, Look Up-type post, entreating…

  • Ladybird Invasion

    I saw some familiar round shapes on one of my windows and thought, ‘Oh, there must be a little nest or something.’ Came downstairs, looked at my patio windows and… loads of ladybirds! I don’t know why they all came out at one go, I’ve never seen that happen before. Is this another climate change…

  • Tory Councillor Is A Nazi

    This Tory councillor is a Nazi, an actual fascist. Hitler-loving scum. But you won’t hear about it on the TV and radio 24/7 like the campaign against Corbyn that the Guardian and their Blairite friends orchestrated. Funny that, eh?

  • Telex – Haven’t We Met Somewhere Before?

    I only know about Telex cos my mate who worked at WH Smiths with me lent me their album ‘Birds And Bees’ (called ‘Sex’ everywhere else, apparently). I knew nothing about the band, it was 1982, who knew anything about musicians back then? If they weren’t in Smash Hits or on the Oxford Road Show…


    Currently watching Ben Affleck opposite Anna Kendrick in The Accountant: He’s either the size of a small house or she’s the size of a large cat. WTH, his head is the size of HER ENTIRE TORSO. They wouldn’t need trick shots / CGI if they played Gandalf and Bilbo, fuck me. WHAT IS GOING ON?

  • On Sleep Deprivation

    deep breath So, I’ve not been sleeping much because I’ve had a weird bastard cold. I’m getting around 3 hours a night. This morning I woke with bad jaw gland pain at around 6am and went to take 2 paracetamols and 2 ibuprofens. I use different shapes to help me differentiate which is which. But this…

  • Loach On Starmer’s Treachery

    The people who fell for the lies of the Blairites about Corbyn were just being good little Guardian readers, you can’t blame them for not knowing about politics. As one of my fave folk tunes says: Raise the scarlet standard highBeneath its folds we’ll live and dieThough cowards flinch and traitors sneerWe’ll keep the red…

  • Just One Platonic Cornetto

    My proposition today: the idea of a Cornetto is far better than the reality. Or should I say, the ideal of a Cornetto is something that cannot be matched by the faint, 4D shadows that our universe’s Cornettos exist within. It’s hot. You imagine a Cornetto. You imagine unpeeling it, hoping the little chocolatey end…