The Fat Trekkies Guide To DST

I’m a huge, fat Trekkie. I am not merely plump, I am massive. My weight wanders, as with a lot of very obese people but it’s always in excess of 350lbs / 25 stone / 159kg. I’ve loved Star Trek since I was a fat nipper and so I feel qualified to write this.

Going to Destination Star Trek has become one of the highlights of my year since it’s gone annual. There is this warm sense of family, of being with other absolute geeks and, in that, a feeling of belonging, a community. But there are a few things us more oblately spherical Trekkies have to be aware of, in order to have the best possible DST experience. 

  1. COSPLAY

First, you DO NOT HAVE TO DRESS UP to go to DST. I’ve suggested going to so many people and had the response that they can’t / don’t want to cosplay and so cannot go. And it’s equally fraught if they do want to dress up. If they’re on the larger side, there’s the added pressure of knowing they won’t be able to wear off-the-peg uniforms. Or they worry how they’ll look because, let’s be honest, some of those Trek uniforms are not the most flattering for those of us without gym-bunny actor bodies. And we can’t all go as Morn, as amazing a con as that would be. 

Wear what you feel most happy and comfortable in, no-one at DST will judge you. We’ve all paid to be there, we’re all equal, there is no hierarchy of Trekness and you should not feel even slightly out of place wearing your ordinary clothes. 

NOW… with that caveat out of the way, I say this to my larger Trekkies: DRESS UP! I was sooo scared for so long, knowing that my weird-shaped body would not look like anything ever seen in Trek TV or film. To add to my worries, I now have an abdominal hernia which most resembles Kuatu out of Total Recall. This makes me very lopsided in an obvious way. 

But I still cosplay! 

I have so much fun in the two uniforms I have. Sometimes, I’ve gone Vulcan Starfleet but mostly I’m human. I like wearing my uniforms because I feel that I’m representing not just Indians or fat blokes or, indeed, fat Indian blokes but because by cosplaying, I’m adding a little bit to the diversity of DST. How dull would it be if DST was full of only slim, young cosplayers? How does that fit in with IDIC at all? Star Trek is such an important part of my life and I first stretched an engineer’s shirt over my tubby belly when I was around seven or eight. Decades later, it feels only right to wear Starfleet uniform. 

As for where to buy – there’s still time to order a uniform from one of the overseas suppliers. Take down all your measurements, get online and get ordering. You may have to roll up the sleeves, as I do, or do a couple of alterations but you will look and, more importantly, feel wonderful. At first, you *will* feel a little silly, but the word is cosPLAY not cosSERIOUSBIZWORKTIMEFROWNFACE.

Like Spock on Talos IV, HAVE A LAUGH!

  1. BE PREPARED TO BE KNACKERED / KEEP HEALTHY!

DST is fabulous but it can be very, very tiring, even for thin / physically fit people. For us bloaters, this can end up with us missing out on things we’ve paid for because we overdid it earlier (or at one of the Bacchanalian night parties). 

So… PACE YOURSELF. It’s a huge venue, everything is bloody miles apart and you’ll be trudging to and from the same areas myriad times. You’ll probably be doing the most walking you’ve done in ages, all crammed into a few hours. If you’re a thin enough fat person, take a collapsible chair or stool with you so can take the weight off when you’re queuing for something. Sadly, I’m too heavy for any of those travel chair options so I simply have to stand when I’m not walking. Yes, there is seating but it’s really only around the food areas so it’s often too busy to find a place and it’s miles from where you might want to be. 

(SIDE NOTE – hey, DST organisers! It would be lovely if there were more general seating areas scattered around. And I DO NOT mean bean bags. They are the worst thing for fat people to try and get up from.)

Also majorly figuring into this: SHOES. Do not make the mistake I made and sacrifice comfort for how things look with your cosplay. I wore my Doc boots because they looked more uniform-y and at the end of that day, I had blisters and I was hobbling severely. It very much curtailed what I did for the rest of the weekend. Soo, don’t be stupid like I was, wear the comfiest shoes you have available. 

With all the walking, queuing, ogling of merch and suchlike going on, it’s very handy if you have your own water with you, even if it’s only a small bottle. Ideally, pack some low-carb, long-lasting snacks too. Some of us can get trembly with low blood sugar and so emergency food is essential because you don’t want to be walking all the way across the hall in search of a burger and then end up at the back of another queue!

  1. PLANNING THE ACTIVITIES

There’s a crapload of stuff cracking off at DST, over the three days. When I first went, I’d look up the timetable online each time I wanted to check anything. Yeah… no. So fiddly, so faffy. Then I thought, ‘OH HO, I AM A GENIUS, I’LL PRINT IT OUT.’ 

Then I was the fat bloke squinting at a piece of A4, trying to work out what I wanted to see, could I see it, when was it, WHERE THE HELL WAS IT? I ended up walking around and around… tiring myself out for no reason at all and then missing things I dearly wanted to see. Now, if you’re thin, you can leap around the hall like a young gazelle, no worries. But I got irritated, tired, a bit trembly and ended up going back to the hotel and being sad. 

Now, I’ve solved this by over-planning ahead of time. As soon as there’s anything like a complete timetable available, I’ll download it and then pick out everything that I’m allowed to see / listen to (I only buy the basic, three-day ticket) and cut and paste all that info to a new, separate doc. As I’m doing this, I’ll try to make sure I’m not making myself ping-pong around the hall un-necessarily because I *know* I’ll get tired and then I’ll end up missing stuff. I also print out a full timetable to keep general track of things. But, typically, I’ll stick to my edited version. Doing this saves me so much time, hassle but, most of all, I can prioritise events and balance each day’s activities so I can make the most of them. Job done! 

So, that’s my three tips for Fat Trekkies. Some of it may apply if you have other health or accessibility issues. The main reason I’ve written this is that I think people are afraid of being judged on what they look like, their size or how they look in cosplay / lack of cosplay. And so, they end up not going to DST and other cons and they miss out on some seriously stupid fun. Don’t be that person missing out.

Whatever size you are, live long, prosper and be happy at DST!