Tired of trying to sound interesting online?
Fed-up with trying to find new ways in which to whore yourself to strangers?
Folks, you need the ONLINE DATING PROFILE GENERATOR!
Look what it came up with for me:
Smelly maniac seeks ruthless woman with a plump vulva for arson, car theft and maybe more
I am the maniac you’re looking for.
Hello ladies! I’m learning about important dates in history. Wanna be one of them?
I’m a murderous kind of chap, who likes nothing more than arson with the right woman.
The first thing people usually notice about me is my surly personality, closly followed by my smashing testicles. I’m the man for you, if you like great testicles and orifices, particularly combined with ample baby oil.
I work as a maniac, helping rats. This allows me to exercise my skills: necromancy and haberdashery.
My life goals include:
- Star in the next Star Wars film.
- Fall in love with you
- Become the best maniac I can be
- Help all the rats in the world
If you’re the right woman for me, you’ll be ruthless and vengeful. You won’t be afraid to rimming and will have a healthy respect for Communism.
My ideal date would involve car theft in hell with a ripe woman by my side. While we’re there, I admire your plump vulva whilst feeling I’m the luckiest man on the planet.
Let me tell you about a funny thing that happened to me last week. I was just helping an elderly across the road when I was hit by a car. I needed three stitches. BOOM!
May the force be with you.
Light me fire, babe
I mean… it’s fucking perfect!