Fucking Asda


I was alright in Mosh
Not happy because it was pretty shite
Swamped by Scream blokes doing comedy moshing
But alright.

I was alright driving driving home
Didn’t miss you one fucking bit
Didn’t even think about you
That’s how over you I am
And how much I don’t care about you.

And then I got to fucking Asda.

Every aisle was a gut punch
Every aisle I could remember you running about,
Gleefully disparaging JML merchandise,
Cooing at kids’ cute duvet covers,
Trying to find films you’d not seen before
An impossible task.

The weight of your absence
Fell on me from five miles up
And I was ridiculous
A lonely man walking round Asda
With a basket full of junk food
And a heart empty of hope.

Once your ghost had risen
She came with me to the car
And sang along to Fall Out Boy
While she danced round in her seat
Doing those crazy arm moves
Nobody does.
Nobody, you idiot.

I imagined what we’d be talking about
I imagined you not waiting to get home to eat
And snaffling the chocs as soon as you could
No patience, that’s your problem
No wonder I dislike you so much

So now what?
Do I never go to Asda at 2.30am again?
I mean, I can’t avoid everywhere we ever went
Can I?
That’s just fucking stupid.

I almost bought some stupid fruit
Hairy, wizened, delights
From far-off lands
But I’m glad I didn’t.
Eating it on my own would have been weird.

I miss you.