Your name has power (Bourdieu and Passeron, 1977 [1970])
When I see it pop up on my newsfeed
When it isn’t even you
My heart collapses (Schwarzschild, 1916)
Grabs hard in my flesh
A wave of cold / heat / cold
Damns me, guilty
Everything shivers

When you text me, everything stops
Stops stopped and shot
I get the passcode wrong
Once, twice, careful now (Aunger, 2004)
Sometimes I don’t rush
Because I know a no,
No, none taken, smiley returned
The osmotic gradient is overpowering
In terms of emoticons
And emotions
No wonder nothing lives here (Levison, 2008).

Even fragments of your name mean too much
If I see them unexpectedly
If I’m not prepared to lie
And cheat and steal and murder (Foucault, 1954)
And set fire to every truth I’ve ever professed to know
Because of the way your fucking face
Turns the world upside down (Bakhtin, 1968)
If I had Ray Milland’s guts
I could solve the sight, find joy (Barthes, 1975)
But I remain a coward, disgusting,
Outcast, filthy with love, rotten (Hebdige, 1979).

On the train home,
I was free.
Just for a second
And it was glorious
I was in sunlight (Burawoy, 2003)
In Paris and San Fransico and New York
Because I’d been in London
And she had kissed me, touched me, loved me.
When she threaded her fingers through mine
And pressed her body against me (Reich, 1927)
It felt good to not be ugly
Fuck, it felt good.

And
Just for a second
I wondered if I was actually mad
At all (Foucault, 1961)?

In conclusion,
This is an area that would benefit greatly
From further research (Mishra, 2012).