Apple Going Crapple – iPhoto 9.1 Breakgrade

Look, I’m an Apple whore. Well, inasmuch as a whore pays to get fucked by someone, that is. Perhaps I’m a reverse whore? I’m typing this on a 12-core Mac Pro, I have an 8-core MP in my studio, a Macbook for DJing, iPhone 4, iPad… it’s quite scary how much of my earnings I’ve given them.

What worries me is their recent lack of quality control / poor decisions.

PING – pongs. It’s pointless, clunky and resolutely anti-social. If this is Apple’s attempt to get in on the social, they’ve failed miserably. It’s not even an epic fail, that implies some kind of glorious mishap. Apple’s Ping is not a misfiring rocket, it’s a damp squib, sputtering in a neglected corner. No wonder the new iTunes update lets you turn the fucker off.

GAME CENTER (sic) – first of all, I like in the UK, so I would like to use Game Centre, thank you, imperial masters. Don’t impose your language on me. Secondly – what is the point? Can’t see anything about other gamers, it’s lumbering and futile. No-one I know who is a gamer uses it or enthuses about it. It’s an enormous bag of wank.

iPHOTO 9.1 (475) – so, I got the upgrade to the new iLife, looking forward to all the new social features (do you sense a new obsession for Apple emerging?). It was… alright. I was distinctly underwhelmed, to be honest. And Apple did its signature move: they broke usability in the upgrade. Look here:


Do you see where it says ‘Markeaton Fireworks’ in this view? Previously, I could click on that to change the name of the event. Not now. Apple, in their wisdom, now make me exit this view mode and enter the useless event view mode if I want to change the title. Why? Why fix something that wasn’t broken and that was logical? Now, I have to flip between views to label a set of photos.

Oh, and File Export? Doesn’t work now. Select some pics, click Export and… nothing. You now have to click it twice for it to work. And sometimes it doesn’t at all. Why?

And the last thing… they recently released an upgrade, taking iPhoto to 9.1 (475). I installed it and… it breaks Flickr upload. If I try to upload a set of pics, I get to the prompt where it asks for the new gallery name then I get spinning beach ball of death and then freeeeze. iPhoto falls over every single time. This is a classic Apple breakgrade.

Apple is renowned for its intransigence and arrogance, to both its re-sellers and average customers like me. But we could at least rely on some kind of quality control before. They seem to be misfiring consistently recently, both in terms of concepts like the godawful Game Center and Ping and simple software upgrades. Really, how could a kludge like the recent iPhoto upgrade have escaped into the wild? Surely Apple have some of the best coders on the planet working for them? And I can’t imagine they’re stuck for beta testers either.

So… I’m now left dragging pics onto my desktop and using Flickr’s web upload every time I want to update my sets.

Not good, Apple. Could do a lot better.