Tragic Life Stories

Tragic Life Stories

WH Smiths, Derby…

Assistant: “Can I help you, sir?”
Customer: “Oh yes. I’m looking for a book”
A: “Well, we have plenty of those! Hah!”
C: “Hah.”
(awkward silence)
A: “Yes…?”
C: “Yes.”
(more awkward silence)
A: “Errr… what kind of book are you after, sir?”
C: “Oooh…umm… biographies?”
A: “Ahhh, inspiring life stories! We’ve got lots of them! How about Gandhi? Or Einstein?”
C: “Ummm… no.”
A: “No?”
C: “No.”
(awkward silence)
A: “Not the kind of thing you’re after?”
C: “No, they’re a bit too… cheery?”
A: “Cheery?”
C: “Yeah, I’m looking for something more… depressing.”
A: “Ummm…?”
C: “Something that will thrill the ghoul in me. Give me the same kind of feeling as when I see a horrible car crash and slow down to gawp. Or that really great sadness I felt when Princess Di died. Something I can have a good old wallow in. Something tragic like that.”
A: “Ahhh! I get it! Well, we’ve got just the thing. If you’d just follow me…”