Hilton Vomits While Attempting To Sing Own Song

Ostrich Hilton
Paris Hilton, earlier today

That’s not my headline – I nicked it from IMDB:

Radin writes that when Jay-Z left the stage, “Paris, who had been swilling straight vodka from (a) Grey Goose bottle for hours, gets up on stage, has the people in charge throw her ‘record’ on the house stereo for her to lip sync two of her songs. She gets up on the stage, pukes, leaves…” Radin adds, “I find the music business charming.”
(Source: IMDB)

I feel this is an opportune time to state: really, you couldn’t make this shit up!

Sylvia Kristel

Sylvia Kristel
The immortal Emmanuelle.

If you’re my vintage, ‘Emmanuelle‘ is a mythical film. It came out when I was 8 or 9 but as I grew into my teens, it became a by-word for sexy ladies, NOT WEARING ANY CLOTHES, being sexy – sometimes with each other! Whaaaaat?

Being pre-cyberwent, us teenage lads could only dream of witnessing such high-class masturbatory fodder as this. You bloody kids nowadays – the minute something’s filmed, some bleeder sticks it up on YouTube. Where’s the mystery in that? Where’s the thrill of discovering hedgerow porn mags? Cuh!

But back in the ’70s and ’80s, our access to images of naked ladies was very limited. I remember going to see my first X-film (Russ Meyer’s ‘Up!’) and putting on my best deep voice to buy the ticket. At the time I assumed I was a master of disguise and had cunningly outwitted the hawklike ticket woman. In retrospect, I was just another randy 14-year-old lad helping to pay her wages.

I never got to see ‘Emmanuelle’ till years later. I was a lot older and had even done it with a lady and everyfink. Yet I was still shocked and entraced by Sylvia Kristel’s numinous, crystalline beauty. Every scene she was in, clothed or nude, she was absolutely magnetic. She was so pretty that I cried inside.

So, this post is a very-belated salute to Sylvia Kristel. Thank you for powering a generation of teenage boys’ feverish wanks and foolish romantic daydreams. Thank you for your daring and sensuality.

Thank you for being beautiful.

Our Gift To Iraq

“It’s appalling that, despite the well-documented problems with cluster weapons, the US and UK are dropping them on Iraq,” Andrew Purkis, chief executive of the Diana, Princess of Wales Memorial Fund said in a statement.

“We urge people to join our campaign to put pressure on governments to take responsibility for the clear up of these indiscriminate weapons of war. Until then, cluster bombs must not be used.”

(Source: The Diana, Princess of Wales Memorial Fund.)

Delicious Library

Delicious Library DVDs

I had a mate round recently and showed him Delicious Library. Like me, he’s into films and video games and, like me, he has a somewhat burgeoning collection.

Okay – I admit it. In the past, I’ve bought the same DVD twice because I forgot I already owned it. But hey, with 270+ DVDs, that’s quite an easy mistake to make.

Now, I don’t worry because I’ve entered all my DVDs into Delicious Library. That’s a screengrab of how DL displays them, above. I love the way it grabs pics from Amazon and then renders them in little cases. 🙂

Here’s a screengrab with the DVDs a little smaller:

Delicious Library DVDs

It isn’t as laborious a task as it sounds since DL lets you use a webcam to scan the barcodes on items and then, SHAZAM!, they’re automagically imported. I wish I’d done this weeks ago, certainly would have been a lot less hassle flicking through DL’s virtual shelves on film nights rather than hunting through folders of DVDs.

Guess what? DL also tracks books:

Delicious Library Books

And CDs:

Delicious Library CDs

And, of course, games:

Delicious Library Games

If you’re a collector and a Mac user, it’s twenty quid well-spent! 🙂

UK Passport RFID Chips Cracked

My new RFID passport – less secure than an old paper version. Thanks Tony, you utter twat!

UK security experts have cracked the sooper sekure new UK biometric passports. It took 48 hours. With £174 worth of sniffer hardware, attackers can read all the personal information off of any of the three million new UK passports in circulation — and if combined with demonstrated hacks for reading RFIDs at a distance, this could happen from across the room, or even farther. You can then clone the RFID and stick it in another passport (surprise! your identity is now owned by a terrorist!).
(Source: BoingBoing)

Brilliant! And so the ‘War On Terror’ rolls blindly on, over the bodies of 655,000 Iraqi dead and the rights and safety of Britons. Blair’s shiny new RFID passport has already been cracked.

If you read the Guardian article linked from BoingBoing, the Home Office plays down the dangers. But what they can’t deny is that information can now be sucked straight off your passport, at a distance, without you even knowing it. Listen to this genius:

“This doesn’t matter,” says a Home Office spokesman. “By the time you have accessed the information on the chip, you have already seen it on the passport. What use would my biometric image be to you? And even if you had the information, you would still have to counterfeit the new passport – and it has lots of new security features. If you were a criminal, you might as well just steal a passport.”
(Source: The Guardian)

Hello? Are you awake? The difference is that you would know if your passport had been nicked! With RFID data theft, you’re completely unaware of any risk.

More than that: if it “doesn’t matter” that the data is stolen, why bother putting it on an RFID in the first place? Just to waste millions of our taxes?

I am so angry right now. Just like our illegal invasion of Iraq, the UK government is now herding us all in the wrong direction and won’t brook any logical criticism. We’re being forced to pay for expensive new passports which are less secure than the old ones!

Is there any end to this government’s stupidity and lunatic dis-regard for our safety?