The Devil Is Picking Your Politicians!

John Jacob

A candidate seeking the Republican nomination for a Congressional seat in Utah has blamed the devil for problems with his campaign.

John Jacob, a businessman aiming to oust Republican incumbent Chris Cannon in a party primary this week, told The Salt Lake Tribune that since he had decided to try for Congress, the devil had disrupted his business deals, stopping him investing $1m (£550,000) in the race as he had hoped. “There’s another force that wants to keep us from going to Washington DC,” he said. “It’s the devil.”
(Source: The Independent)

To be fair to the Republican nutter, he does frantically backpedal. But I fear the damage is done now he’s said, on the record, that Old Nick was doing his darnedest to keep him out of office.

All politicians wave the God flag. Look at how Butcher Blair has wrapped himself in Christ, why it’s almost impossible to see where Christ’s blood ends and the blood of 100,000 Iraqis starts. I actually hope he’s lying about being a Christian because the alternative, that he truly believes a giant ghostie wants him to bomb children, is far more insane.

Jacob isn’t atypical, he seems entirely too typical of the current Republican party. Maybe that’s why some old-school Republicans are leaving? Jacob certainly has the typical Republican grasp of reality:

Jacob had said that 40 percent of the inmates at the Central Utah Correctional Facility were illegal immigrants. Christine Mitchell, deputy state corrections director, said they made up 8.4 percent of the Gunnison prison population.

Jacob acknowledged the error, and declined to say who had told him it was 40 percent because he didn’t want them to get into trouble.

Of course, we all the source of that inaccuracy: it was ole’ Red Eyes. He’s out to pervert our wunnerful democracies, I tells ya!

I’d love to see more UK politicians coming out as atheists or, at the very least, agnostics. But I guess that would be a brave move since the majority of their electorate does believe in goblins and Thor. Or something similar, anyhow.