Why Indie Musicians Are Cunts, Part 58

Whenever there’s an interview with an indie rock band, the band always says things like:

We’re just after something different, y’know? We don’t want to sound like anyone else.

Or

We spent ages trying out different things for this album, that’s how we got this unique sound!

Or

We just make music for ourselves, if anyone else likes it, that’s a bonus!

The last one became an NME in-joke cliché, it was heard so often from the mouths of the latest indie babes.

So, explain to me how I’ve been watching MTV this morning, taped from last night, and I’ve seen four bands who all have the same drum patterns, angular guitars and shouty singing of Franz Ferdinand?

I’m not taking about vague similarities here, I’m talking about “shut your eyes and it could be Franz”-type copying.

It appears every single indie band is trying to sound EXACTLY like Franz Ferdinand, Bloc Party or The Killers. Apart from the ones desperately bunging pianos on everything and doing plodding ballads in the hope of some Keane earnings.

If indie bands were just honest about it, it wouldn’t be so annoying. Yet the pose is always one of being mavericks, tortured artists. But the reality is that the only difference between most current “indie” bands and manufactured boy/girl bands is their style. There is no difference in aesthetic, only in how their hair and clothes are done.

I hate musicians. They’re all lying fucking bastards. This is what they should say:

We make music for our label and the press. If we like it, that’s a bonus!

Fuck me, a band have just come on MTV that sound EXACTLY like LCD Soundsystem. What the fuck is going on?

ARGHHH!