Twatty Language

“My partner loves frigging me off…”

Here’s a pet hate of mine:


As in, “my partner and I have just bought this wonderful barn which we’re going to convert into stinky yuppie flats, yah?”

If I ever find myself using the word partner instead of mrs, wife or girlfriend, I’ll know it’s time to kill myself.

It’s the most namby-pamby, cowardly, sex-less term I can think of… it’s an insult to your lover.

So why do people start using it when they get into their mid-20s, the same time as they start to think dinner-parties are a good idea (they’re not – THEY’RE HELL ON EARTH ).

Please, even if you are hideously middle-class, DON’T use this word – it screams greyness and mediocrity from your every pore.

I’ve got so annoyed that when people say it now, I go “Partner? As in business partner? Oh… you mean your boyfriend!”

love and kisses,