i stfg, I come on here at fucking stupid o’clock, wishing I was dead and feeling worse inside and then one of you twats will do a post of statements wherein all the reactions are SPONGEOB SQUAREPANTS and I just fucking lose it.
I’m crying more than the end scene of blue is the warmest colour
in other news, a woman in Birds actually called me ‘duck’ when I went in to buy a cob earlier and i had to have a little cry in the car before going home
in other other news – the a52 is still fucked up and wth is going on in notts?
Last weekend, I did a nude shoot with the lovely Tania, as pictured above.
I’ve published one nude book so far and done numerous shoots but most of them are kept private as the models are sensitive about families / partners and what they’d think.
So, it’s great to babe able to actually publish these shots, LIVE, on the nets! Woohoo!
I was nervous because it was a paid shoot, we had limited time and I have very definite ideas about what I don’t want to do. For a start, you will never see retouching on any of my pics. You will see digital cropping, levels, colour vibrancy and the very, very occasional spot removal at the request of a model.
I regard women as naturally beautiful. It’s my quest as a photographer to try and capture how *I* see women and share that with the world. In my non-nude portrait work, models will regularly say to me, “Oh, you’ve made me look beautiful!” And I have to correct them, no I didn’t. The beauty is all theirs; all I did was stand at the right spot at the right time and capture the right rays of light.
Fundamentally, if you’re retouching the shit out of your portraits or nude work until the women look like bizarre Uncanny Valley replicants, then you are doing something wrong. Here’s my advice to you:
STOP. CONSIDER THE DAMAGE YOU ARE DOING. WOMEN ARE SEEING YOUR IMAGES AND WONDERING WHY THEY DON’T LOOK LIKE THAT. YOU ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM.
Look, I’m a sociologist, I’ve read enough Kristeva and Barthes and Bazin to realise that every photographic image is not only a construction, it is an argument. I’m not arguing from some naive stance of ‘realism’ or ‘essential truth.’ I believe every image is a semiotic hand grenade, fling them around without concern and you will be hurting people.
To stretch the metaphor past breaking… this nude shoot was a minefield for me! I want to represent Tania’s beauty and personality, I want to show how the light hugs her hips and kisses her abdomen. BUT I don’t want to be part of the same old bullshit discourse where all naturalism is lost in the effort of creating an ephemeral, anonymous ur-female, in trying to capture the immanent.
So, have a look at my pics of Tania. Question how they make you feel. Question why I made them – what the fuck am I trying to say? What can I say in nude female photography that hasn’t been said a million times already?
Then, when you have the answers… write a book about it, don’t send it to me! 😛
No, no, not THAT kind of fantasy, yer slash pervs! 😛
A discussion on Facebook lead me to posting this:
This one is EASY PEASY LEMON SQUEEZY:
From non-Trek SF telly:
1. Captain Samantha Carter 2. First Officer Lee Adama 3. Chief Engineer Kaywinnet Lee Frye 4. Tactical/Security Officer Kiera Cameron 5. Helmsman Ulysses Adair 6. Chief Medical Officer Dr. Walter Bishop 7. Operations John Kennex 8. Science Officer Orac
1. Captain Wesley Crusher 2. First Officer Amanda Rogers 3. Chief Engineer Hugh Borg 4. Tactical/Security Officer Gary Seven 5. Helmsman Morn 6. Chief Medical Officer Dr. M’Benga 7. Operations M’Ress 8. Science Officer Saru
If you compare TOS to reboot BSG, then it may look dated and certainly the effects are *now* inferior. BUT at the time TOS came out, it was a revolutionary series, in terms of both conception and (where the studio allowed!) execution. The first inter-racial kiss on US TV: check. A bridge crew of officers which included numerous human ethnicities AND Spock? Check. A future which is has abolished money and where education, food, shelter and healthcare are free for every human? Check. And it’s well known that Roddenberry actually wanted to push even further but the studio wouldn’t have it.
BSG may be absolutely “sexier” and “grittier” but *for the time it was made and released*, it took far fewer risks than TOS. So, BSG may seem edgier but, really, how many real risks did it take compared to TOS? None that I can remember.
Also, I would argue that dystopias are lazy, we’re drowning in them! Every new YA is set in a dystopia with a plucky Mary Sue-ish heroine torn between two boys, one bad, one good, both gorgeous and, like, totally into her. I’m not saying BSG is the same as Divergent or Maze Runner or The Hunger Games but it is Yet Another Robot Uprising Armageddon. It’s hard to write a happy song, very easy to write a sad one. Roddenberry’s genius is that he wrote a happy song that wasn’t The Frog Chorus. (see also Iain M. Banks’ Culture.)
Dystopia… pah, gimme a UTOPIA, like Roddenberry did. Give me an Earth with a mature, cohesive humanity, a place of wonder and beauty that can inspire us now. (And then pit that world against all kinds of wild, external baddie, sure.)
You can’t watch TOS now as it actually was back then because TOS itself changed the world. Trek permeates everything. BSG is quality entertainment, Trek is an entire philosophy of life.
Fed-up with trying to find new ways in which to whore yourself to strangers?
Folks, you need the ONLINE DATING PROFILE GENERATOR!
Look what it came up with for me:
Smelly maniac seeks ruthless woman with a plump vulva for arson, car theft and maybe more
I am the maniac you’re looking for.
Hello ladies! I’m learning about important dates in history. Wanna be one of them?
I’m a murderous kind of chap, who likes nothing more than arson with the right woman.
The first thing people usually notice about me is my surly personality, closly followed by my smashing testicles. I’m the man for you, if you like great testicles and orifices, particularly combined with ample baby oil.
I work as a maniac, helping rats. This allows me to exercise my skills: necromancy and haberdashery.
My life goals include:
Star in the next Star Wars film.
Fall in love with you
Become the best maniac I can be
Help all the rats in the world
If you’re the right woman for me, you’ll be ruthless and vengeful. You won’t be afraid to rimming and will have a healthy respect for Communism.
My ideal date would involve car theft in hell with a ripe woman by my side. While we’re there, I admire your plump vulva whilst feeling I’m the luckiest man on the planet.
Let me tell you about a funny thing that happened to me last week. I was just helping an elderly across the road when I was hit by a car. I needed three stitches. BOOM!
Most of my portraiture is shot at 50mm, either with my f/1.8 or f/1.2 Canon lenses. I’d thought about getting an 85mm for a while now but the price of the Canon versions made me baulk. Then, along comes the Sigma, highly rated in reviews and I only have to sell the one kidney to buy it ~ RESULT!
When it arrived, I was struck by two things: first, how well made it feels, easily comparable to the silky smoothness of Canon L-series lenses. And secondly…. boy, is it made out of fucking neutronium or what? This is not a light lens (although it is a light lens as it’s a f/1.4… hehhhh). The 85mm on my Canon 5D Mk 4 is untenably heavy, I would want to use at least a monopod if I was shooting for longer than ninety minutes, preferably a tripod. Mounted (via the Sigma adaptor) on my Sony A7R3 and it’s lot more heftable, though the Sony looks slightly ridiculous hanging off the back of it. Like a chihuahua shagging a hippo. If I was tripod mounting this combo, I’d definitely want it to be via a lens ring rather than the camera body.
Luckily, my mate Nat was free to do some test shots and this is some of what we got:
@BBCR1#furries If you’re gonna talk about a subculture, it might help if your presenters don’t piss themselves laughing at it whilst introducing the clip. *hint* don’t become sociologists… ?
Seriously, though. First of all – who under 40 hasn’t even heard of furries in 2018? I cannot believe two YOUNG AND HIP AND HAPPENING Radio 1 DJs are so fucking out of it that they’re like, “WHAT IS THIS? PEOPLE DRESSING UP AS ANIMALS?”
But, leaving that aside – what gives these DJs the right to laugh at another group of people? So they like getting dressed up as animals and having conventions and making like-minded mates? Is that just not 18-pints-of-lager-and-a-shag-outside-a-chip-shop enough for you?
I’m reminded of all the fucks who used to laugh at me for liking comics when I was a kid. Bullying starts with laughter.